


Why Don't I Like This Guy?

by TheWolfFearsHer



Series: Spencer-Lassiter Children [8]
Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Discussions of Murder, Episode: s05e08 Shawn 2.0, F/M, I watched the episode while writing this, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous Shawn Spencer, M/M, Murder, Naked Cuddling, POV Multiple, POV Outsider, Shawn is jealous of Declan, Spencer-Lassiter Children, do not copy to another site, fake profiling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28421847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWolfFearsHer/pseuds/TheWolfFearsHer
Summary: You may need to read some of my previous fics and watch the episode before reading this fic.Shawn pulls Gus aside, “Why don’t I like this man.” He asks, anger and jealousy filling his tone.“I don’t know, maybe because he keeps stealing your thunder,” Gus replies looking back at Declan.“Because his name is Declan. Don’t you find that utterly ridiculous?"
Relationships: Carlton Lassiter/Shawn Spencer, Juliet O'Hara/Declan Rand
Series: Spencer-Lassiter Children [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1371973
Comments: 12
Kudos: 46





	Why Don't I Like This Guy?

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE!
> 
> Quarantine hit, and I made a few stories, but I needed some time to get back into this series. 
> 
> *You’ll notice a lot of Juliet and Shawn interactions where Juliet has been replaced by Lassiter, please don't be confused or think you remembered the interaction incorrectly.
> 
> Honestly, it's not very consistent, but I really wanted to get something out there.

Shawn and Gus walk into a coffee shop with Alisha and Caleb before dropping them off at daycare. They order their muffins and chocolate milk while they wait for Minka to write the Trivia question on the board. Caleb and Alisha sit at a table in the corner while Gus and Shawn wait in line for the food and drinks. 

“Wait until you get the chance to meet Kim at the wedding on Saturday.” Gus grins. “You are going to love her!” 

“If you think I’m going to be a third wheel to you and Kim with one I, you’re nuts. I’m bringing my own date.” Shawn sighs. 

“Who?” Gus questions. 

Shawn looks at Gus, “It rhymes with Ambassador.”

“You’re bringing Lassiter to the wedding!?” Gus questions in surprise. 

“He’s not busy that day, so he says and we can find a babysitter, maybe Jules can do it.” 

They walk back over to the counter where Minka has the trivia question ready. 

“97.” Shawn answers confidently. 

That is until a man, wearing a suit, comes up behind them. “Actually I believe it’s 98. Fenster dropped one after that line up scene. Often gets mistaken for the word Gug, which isn’t even a word. But let’s be honest, it should be.” 

Shawn looks over at Gus and Alisha who walked up to ask what was taking so long, “What’s happening right here?” He moves his hand in the general direction of the man. 

“He’s right, it’s 98.” Minka smiles

“Who the Gug is that guy?” Shawn questions, causing the kids to laugh. 

After leaving the shop and dropping the kids off at the DayCare, Shawn and Gus make their way to the crime scene. In which they discuss the death of a 70 year old woman. 

“There’s no visible marks or signs of a struggle, it doesn’t look like foul play to me.” Lassiter states professionally. 

Shawn suddenly remembers reading some obituaries in the Newspaper that morning, “Oh! Whoa! Lassie, the Psychic Gods disagree. I’m sensing that there was a direct link between this poor woman's death and the deaths of a Peter Hodges and a Veronica Miller early this week.” 

Lassiter raises his eyebrows at Shawn, sick of the psychic crap, but willing to listen, “And what link would that be?” 

Shawn goes to speak, but the man from the coffee shop interrupts him, “All three died while in close proximity of an aerosol can.” 

Shawn rolls his eyes, jealousy obvious in his stance asks, “Alright, who are you and why do you keep stealing my moments?” 

The man smiles, “I’m sorry, Declan Rand. Criminal Profiler.” and reaches out to shake Shawn’s hand. 

Shawn shakes it as Lassiter says, “Right, Chief Vick said you’d be stopping by.” and shakes his hand as well. Shawn glares at Declan, poorly hiding his jealousy once again. 

“I’m Detective Carlton Lassiter, this here is my partner Juliet O’Hara and eh.” He waves Gus and Shawn off, they don’t need introducing. They’ll find a way to make themselves stick out. 

“Criminal Profiler huh? Sounds like one of those job titles that only exist in cheesy TV shows.” Shawn tries to make fun of Declan but the man laughs it off. 

“No argument here, what is it you do?” Declan asks charmingly. 

“I’m a Psychic Detective.” Shawn responds with confidence. 

Juliet points out that Declan and Shawn are technically right about the other two victims and Lassiter asks, “Are you saying this is a serial killer?” 

Shawn, used to answering Lassiter’s questions, goes to answer before being interrupted by Declan who explains that it is most likely a serial killer. 

Juliet goes to call the Chief.

“Thanks for the tip.” Lassiter says before continuing a conversation with the man. 

Shawn pulls Gus aside, “Why don’t I like this man.” He asks, anger and jealousy filling his tone. 

“I don’t know, maybe because he keeps stealing your thunder.” Gus replies looking back at Declan. 

“Because his name is Declan. Don’t you find that utterly ridiculous?” 

“Can we get out of here?” 

“Not before I ask Lass to be my date to the wedding.” 

“Now is not the time.” 

“Why not?” 

“Well for starters there’s a dead body 10 yards away.” 

“Don’t be so old fashioned.” 

“Lassie! May I have a word?” Shawn looks over as Declan and Lassiter part ways. 

“Me, you, a friend's wedding on Saturday?” 

“Are you asking me out next to a dead body? 

“Yeah, I figured it would be okay since it doesn’t smell.” 

“You could’ve asked me at home, but sure Shawn.” 

Back at the precinct Vick goes over the case with the entire Police Department and afterwards Shawn argues with his father about Declan. While leaving the room Gus and Shawn bump into Declan. 

“Yeah man, I gotta be honest I’m not a big believer in the ability to psychologically profile a complete stranger.” Shawn admits in order to throw Declan off. 

“I respect that. But I do it successfully all the time.” 

“Try me.” 

“I’d rather not.” 

“Because you can’t.” 

“Well the truth is-” 

“You’re not able.” 

“You’re highly intelligent, but you’re shameful of that fact so you play it down with the inappropriate use of behaviour and you live in fear of showing weakness so you hide behind a constant barrage of jokes and sarcasm.” 

“I agree, not! What else?” 

“I noticed you over enunciate words at times, which I suspect is some kind of nervous reaction to confirmation or awkwardness.” 

At the hospital checking out Shawn’s theory on the Transplant list, they find that the next person in line is a 35 year old female, who matches Declan’s profile. Making both Shawn and Declan correct, but what really hits Shawn in the gut is when Lassiter says. 

“Well done Declan.” 

“Well done Declan?” Shawn repeats, “Since when do you use first names?!” 

Lassiter sensing Shawn’s Jealousy turns around and says, “We need to track this girl down.” and proceeding to walk away from Gus and Shawn. 

“Hey, I'm the one who came up with the list thing!” 

“Good work Shawn.” Declan smiles as he follows behind everyone else. 

“Shut up Declan.” Shawn says to himself rolling his eyes and scruching his face in anger.

Shawn gets to the psych office a half an hour early after waking up to an empty bed and a quiet house. 

“You think beating Declan will make Lassiter listen to you again and you can get over this jealousy thing you’ve got going on?” Gus questions after Shawn explains that he got there early to get some work done on the case. 

“First of all I’m not jealous. But if making Declan look sucky somehow diminishes his appeal in Lassie’s eyes, I’ll take it. Look Gus this isn’t personal.” 

When arriving at the suspects house Declan is talking to Juliet, but that doesn’t change the fact that Lassie doesn’t even look at Shawn when he walks past him and Gus. 

Shawn and Gus walk out of the house just as Lassiter is insulting Declan, which causes Shawn to grin, “Your profile can kiss my big round white dumper, Declan. I do not enjoy pointing guns at innocent people!” 

“You don’t” Juliet questions. 

“No, I’m not 29 anymore.”

While being forced to listen to the book Shawn had been listening to all Friday night they both realized that Declan was copying it word for word. Shawn explains the theory to Gus, who doesn’t seem to believe him at all. 

Just after they find Declan over top the dead body of their suspect, Catherine Bicks. 

“Uh oh.” Declan says glancing up. 

“You were right Shawn. Declan Rand you are under arrest for the murder of Catherine Bicks.” 

Eventually the murderer is found out as Catherine’s twin sister Maddy, and Declan is released. Juliet and Declan start dating even though he confessed that he was in fact a faker. 

Back home Shawn tells his kids the story of a fake profiler while Lassiter sits back on the sofa with a glass of whiskey. He didn’t truly see how jealous Shawn was of the man until he started listening to the story he was telling. 

When the kids are all in bed and Shawn and Lassiter retreat to their bedroom. Lassiter apologizes to Shawn and they fight it out in their own way, starting with a kiss. Clothes disappear and bodies mend together while declarations are made. 

Afterwards they lie next to one another, naked. “You know Lassie.” 

Lassiter turns to look at Shawn and hums a question. 

“I kind of hope we have another one.” 

“Another what Shawn?” 

“Another kid, Carlton, I hope I’m pregnant now.” 

Lassiter grins, “Well, in case you're not. Let’s try again.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> For more content follow me on [Tumblr](https://thewolffearsher.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
